Answer Wanted

I know could've done somethings which I didn't, but I doubt that's all your reasons for giving up on me... I doubt that you've forgotten the things I did for you, also the ones I'm willing to do. I doubt you've actually come to despise me, because you needed me too many times before. No way all the time we spent together meant nothing to you, they meant everything to me... All the talks, all the walks, all the stares and laughs, all the worries and mistakes (probably), the sights and sounds... Those must be still alive, I need those, and you need me, you've said it yourself. Fine, let's go back to ground zero, I'll do it all over again... Same mistakes too, if that's what it really takes... I'll shed the same tears, and laugh over the very same jokes, and I won't leave, not as long as you don't want me to... But, what if you do? What if I'm marking my ground, for something that no longer exists? You were almost everything I had, and I let you go... Did I loose you? I don't know... Does it feels like it? It hell does!... Just tell me, tell me I can make it better again and I will. Show me what I did wrong, explain what I have to do, for I want to make it all right again. But you have to want it, you have to miss what we had, you have to love me... You have to, or else there is nothing that can be done... I never meant to say goodbye, I wanted to stay and wait forever, and do whatever it takes. You begged me not to leave, I won't... You wanted me not to change, I didn't... You need me to be happy, I can't, not if you don't help me.

I swear to you, I'll wait. I'll crawl, cry and weep... Just tell me you still love me like you did, show me that you'd miss me if I were gone, prove me wrong this once, and I'll run back to you... Because now I want you, badly, deeply, madly. My question begs your answer. Answer me honestly, and I'll do what I promised, being that whatever it is...

I missed that...

I missed that look on your face. Not the one that quietly begged for help with the innocence of a child, the desperation of a caged bird and the life beneath a warm heart, but the one that melts my soul and breaks my heart with emotion of such a beautiful sparkle that gazed me. Geez, I missed the deep blue sea behind that face, the greatness through the waters of time that flow through your mind, the light, the sunlight, thrown at me by your smile. And it thrills me. It thrills me that I no longer have to fear it, no longer have I to depend on it, but forever enjoy it and keep it. No longer shall my skin be the one burned and scratched by such beautiful wonder, instead home for a renewed friendship, one of those that seem to last forever and that shall not be forgotten.
Right now I feel the sorrow that flows through my veins, the one that I was the cause of, the one that I won't be able to compensate. I must regain the days lost, the help ungiven and the smiles unshown. Unfortunately, no hours can compare to the minutes I didn't spend talking, no star can be a missed glimpse. The stars won't be the ones helping forget it, but they'll be the ones making it all better.
Maybe we can do it as before and talk until forever, maybe we can do as before and look up at the sky, maybe we can do it as before and look at each others eyes and see nothing but ourselves...

I'm willing to do it all over again, are you too? No mistakes this time...

There...

I'm sorry for all the mistakes I commit
for all the words unsaid
my lips dry out of cheer regret

my eyes start crying, hitching, making me mad!

I know I should've been able to hold it
and keep it inside buried in me,
I guess I'm not that deep
not as I would like to be.

I'll keep it this way then,
close distance, but not hearts.
Unless you rather a change
in that case, I'll still love to take part...

Either way I won't leave.
Not because of my stubbornness,
but because that's a promise I intent to keep.
I won't ever surrender you to oblivion and darkness...

No, not you, not by me...
This is forever.
Whatever this turns to be.
No matter, we can make it all better,
as long as you don't leave,
though I know you won't ever...

I do love you...

I guess this ain't goodbye...

My heart won't stop beating
my steps wont stop taking place
no rooftop will be the place of my last standing
no tear shall ever roll over my face.

I'm not meant for disaster
not tragedy will take over me,
i only need to get higher, and faster
and mark my words on the highest tree
So that they won't ever be gone,
perpetuating my stand
and the feeling I'm lost for,
long before the time I had grown
the desire for this demand,
which I can't take no more.

Fine, I'll do it on my own
I don't need any pitty
I could use a hand, though
instead of making you feel guilty...

There's no need for that,
cuz you ain't done nothing wrong,
here I'm the extra little brat
that doesn't know where I belong.

Nevertheless I won't move,
I don't feel like running.
First I've got something to prove,
then I'll get going.

Ask me back if you want me to,
cause i will run to your arms
just don't expect me to lie to you
for this truth is one I cannot harm.

Yeah, I do love someone,
that's pretty obvious by now.
Not as the sadness I keep inside,
more like the smiles I keep letting out.

I said and promised
I wouldn't want you to get stuck on me,
ironicly how I got so stoned
despite all the signs I didn't want to see...

My Way

All along my way. I never knew what’s come, I didn’t know what to do neither where to turn. Looking back my way a cliff is all I contemplate, and in front of me, I find My Way blocked by a locked gate. This gate, whose name was Doubt, was haunted by ghosts and crowded with dark crows. The passage through My Way had a key, which no one could handle, for it was within me, away from all the outside tremble.

So, like a knight brandishing his sword, I made up my mind, no place in the heart for cracks or sores, just dropped tears throughout My Way behind.

The choice that I thought was made was not to decide the destiny I’d follow, there was a crossroad rising through the mist and shade of options that could end up my tomorrow. Time for wisdom and responsibility, this was my ultimate chance, a faithful step must be taken, towards a road of which I don’t see the end. And so I went on, like a blind man in a maze, attempting not to do anything wrong, and still committing too many mistakes.

I guess that’s what life is all about, there are no straight paths, just dead-ends with no way out, a lot of turns and corners ahead.

Although I don’t know where to go I shall not fall and fade, My Way lies before me, my steps guide me through it.

And here is the end of this poem,

Though not written in stanzas,

That from my future it is an omen

Worthy of some glares and gazes.

Farewell travellers…