Does anyone believe in change?...

He left the house. Behind stayed all the racket and chaos that some of them called a party. Going down the stairs, he felt different, he felt free, loose, untouchble. The feeling was overwhelming...
As days went on, he felt thirsty, it felt like he was being taken over by this great sensation of power. Although barely a week had passed, it seemed years had gone by, and he had learned from all the time it didn't exist.
- Why care? Why the sudden impulse of doing what is right when nobody notices and noone gets nothing for it and you are the only faceless loser to actualy get slapped over it? -
The feeling altered, he wasn't himself anymore, or his old self at least. He was stronger, more resistance and even more reckless. To him, the only thing that mattered were his loaded six string and the booze. And the company, the female company... or at least the objects that made him feel not THAT alone. They weren't like normal people, even less like him. They were his, and noone else's, that's why he could do whatever he wanted to them regardless of the consequences, and noone had a damn to do with it. He felt like owning, instead of owned... He felt great... too great... The untouchability of his greatness blinded him from reality, and all that he was before was just that: Past. And past was made to be forgotten... So he thought...
Then, descending from his heavenly throne, he reflected upon the time since the ascendence, putting the lost pieces of time together, and realized...nothing changed...the face didn't change only the name, and the nam was something he wanted to keep buried. But he realized... the time wouldn't've add up to this, neither would anything he had gone through... so...
- Why change? Why the sudden impulse to make it all wrong, when everything that has ever changed belonged to his own world, where nobody could see a thing and the only one living up to it, was himself? -
Again, something altered. Not the feeling, not quite. He altered himself. The expression in his face chilled at the ultimate conclusion. The pain of being aware that he deceived himself was astonishing, the shame overwhelming. So he rose, again, not to the throne laying alone in his dreams of his own world, but to the door left slightly opened behind him.
So he went, back to the old grim corridor to his own empty apartment, right there, on someone else's world...

2 Comments:
Bem,já conheces o meu "inglês", mas mesmo assim vou tentar:
The power is only on our mind. And I think we have to control it, not just because of the ridiculous of a proud smily face, but because we need to FEEL hearth, to feel our essence (not the power, not the superiority, but look arround and see real friends, see happiness - i think we can't see it with pride).
You have to think on a publication of your texts...
big fluffy kisses
(sorry about the mistakes!)
Everyone speaks in english so who am i not to do it? I´ll give it a shot.
Is this is about what i think, let me tell you that you behaved like a man to the situation you were facing. I don´t know how did you felt and i am not going to try to guess. What i know is that you could have ran away, you could even turn off to what happened... but in the end you faced all.
All the opinions.
All the criticism.
All the jokes.
And all the bullshit that ever happened.
You once thanked me for my help in that situation. It was good to know but it wasn´t necessary.
Some say a good friend is the one who gets you out of prison but a best friend is the one who says "Frickin´brutal dude!". I try to stand in the middle of thoose two.
Past is past, but i´m still honored and it is a pleasure to be your friend.
See you later, kid.
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